Confidence.

The “thing” that helps us be brave in the face of the unknown. It’s the reason we go to a big, scary job interview, it’s the action behind the finger dialing that hot man or woman’s phone number. Confidence is exuded, it oozes, it’s just there.

Like in this video from Austin Powers – International Man of Mystery: http://youtu.be/4wBlpm0HQ2I

Confidence, however, isn’t arrogance. Arrogance is haughty and petty and not nice to others. So, you don’t want to strive to be arrogant. Unless you don’t want many friends.

Confidence is a necessary component of life. Without it, you may stay stuck in a dead-end job, in a loveless marriage and hang out with unhappy friends. Is that the life you desire? It may be hard to develop confidence if you’ve been told negative things your entire life, but that doesn’t mean you can’t and shouldn’t try. (You might also want to check out the services of a competent therapist, too.)

There are far more than 10 things you can do to create confidence inside you. Didn’t want to overwhelm you, though. Ten is a good start.

1. Love Yourself – Being loving to yourself will go a long way toward enhancing your confidence. Self-love is the main ingredient in being able to love others. If you don’t love yourself, you can lust, admire, worship, desire and maybe like someone else, but love isn’t in the mix. So how do you love yourself? There are many ways, but the simplest – give yourself a hug.
2. Look in the mirror – Each time you walk by a mirror, give yourself your biggest smile. Sure, you might feel a bit odd doing this at first, but you’ll soon get the hang of it. Remember Fonzie from Happy Days fame? Check out this quick video clip – he knew how to “look in the mirror.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQ0RUhzQSWg
3. Listen to YOU – Intuition. Women don’t have a lock on it. So if your gut, body or a tiny voice is telling you something – listen. And don’t worry what other people think.
4. Talk to YOU – Sometimes we say the meanest things to ourselves. This is an opportunity to say nice things and praise yourself. Really feel it when you say things.
5. Do things that make you feel good – Somewhere along the way, you may have become disconnected with those things you love to do. By spending time alone with yourself, you can reacquaint yourself with those things you used to love. It could be music, hiking, volunteering, cooking, gardening – whatever. The only criterion is it must make you feel good about being you.
6. Remove negatives – We all have them – the things cluttering up our lives that drags us down and makes us unhappy. If it’s a constantly negative friend, you may want to reconsider your friendship. If it’s a messy house, enlist the help of others (paid help, friends or family members) to tidy it up. If it’s a job you can’t stand, begin to explore your options. Environment does matter!
7. Surround with positives –  This could be artwork that thrills you, friends who make you laugh, a job you love to wake up for each day, a city that feeds your soul, a roaring fire in the fireplace on a cold day – you get the idea. By pulling positive things into your life, you change the energy of your surroundings – both inside and outside of you. Positive energy begets positive energy.
8. Be honest with yourself – Lying isn’t cool and lying to yourself is the biggest insult of all. So, be honest with yourself all the time. It’s okay if you don’t like something; don’t try to convince yourself you do. You’ll just end up feeling resentful, which could end up hurting other people, too. On the flip side, if you like something – admit it! Don’t hide your feelings from yourself. Remember – nobody but you really knows what you’re thinking anyway.
9. Allow rumors to die – Humans like to gossip and men do it almost as much as women do. But gossip frequently hurts. The best way to reduce negativity in your life is to stop participating in gossip.
10. Take responsibility – Oh, this is a biggie. Don’t blame other people for things you’ve done, could have done, should have done or did and shouldn’t have. Come on – put on your big boy or girl panties and admit that it was your choice. Doing this helps you in two ways:  1) You begin to see your choices more clearly and 2) You begin to understand you can change your decisions and make better choices next time. Eventually, making better choices becomes a habit.

These are my 10. Can you think of something you would do? Please share your thoughts by posting in the comments!

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